after 21 years (yes yes 22 but my bday is in nov.. don't remind me) of living on this rather degenerated place called earth, i have come to realise that i am too dependent on my parents giving me permission to do this or that. actually, as of 2002, they have pretty much left me to my devices. and asking permission from them has now become some sort of gesture of politeness.

age 5 - 7+: 'mama... can i have a mentos please?' - a question i would ask every other day whenever i wanna have a sweet. hahah i only ever ate mentos when i was younger. cld be all those left-over tubes from when my parents were dating. the dad would always bring a tube of mentos (mint of cos, definitely not spearmint, but at that time they didn't have that flavour, but whoever decided to put spearmint in mentos has seriously lost it) everytime he came to pick the mom up.

age14 - 16: 'ma... can i go out watch movies with the girls?' - after discovering the joys of the plaza in the far east and the wonders of orchard with loads of (at that time i found them cute) cute secondary school xiao di di-s. anwyays, to which her reply would always be: 'why u always go out? (even tho i don't really go out at all.. explains why i got lost in orchard, and apart from the fact that i'm a direction idiot) always go out never study!! (which i did... a lot!!) '. and that is the point in which an argument would ensue. and me thinking how much i 'hate' my mom (at that time 'hate' is the cool word) and i will always tell her i'd ask my dad. cos we all know how us, precious little princesses, have our daddy dearests wrapped around our little fingers. and i always wished i could grow up faster and make my own decisions.

' can i buy this thing?' - to which her reply would be: 'aiyoh.. no need lah. why u want to waste money on something u won't wear? don't keep following fashion lah.. will out of fashion very fast one lah'. after which an argument would ensue. and me thinking how much i 'hate' my mom and i will always tell her i'd ask my dad. cos we all know how us, precious little princesses, have our daddy dearests wrapped around our little fingers. and i always wished that i could grow up faster and work part time, thereby earning my own money and buying my own clothes. either that or i wld just go behind her back and buy it. using my posb atm card that was the most 'da pai' thing at that time.

age 17 - 18: 'hey ma.. i'm going out with the class pple' - to which she wld ask: 'where are u now girl?' 'oh! i'm with zhong they all' - zhong became the 'dang jian pai' for all my late nights out with the gang. anyways, he's the aunite 'sha shou', so no surprises that my mom likes him and is surpringly agreeable when i tell him i'm out with him. always put his name first before the rest. the mom confirm say 'okie. but don't come back too late'. :) at this age, their tight rein on me is slowly loosening. i could almost breathe in the fresh air of freedom. hahahah.

age 19 - current time: 'hey ma.. can i go to hawaii (or sydney)? with like a couple of frens?' - to which her reply would be 'i discuss with pa first' and her answer would be 'is it safe not? how much u intending to spend? can lah.. but then u must tell me the budget.' or 'up to u lah girl. u shd make ur own decisions lah. but u must be careful if u go leh'. sometimes i wish she or the dad would say: 'no u can't go. spend so much money for what?! don't go lah stay home and study.' then i would not have to make the decision of not going, esp when i'm quite indecisive abt certain stuff. then i can just tell my frens that 'eh sorry...my parents didn't allow. so i can't go with u guys to wherever u wanna go'.*

'mama.. i'm going clubbing tonight k?' - to which she would say: 'going with who? don't drink so much ah.. not safe.. and come back early.' i had to convince her that coming home at 1am was just not done. cos that when the party really starts. she used to call me heaps when i started clubbing (not that i club heaps) and always demanding that i come back immediately. but she has now learnt that she shd not even call me.. but sms.. cos one, she can't hear shit i'm talking. two, i can't hear her and she is pissed when i don't respond to her call immediately. *or say 'no! go for what? always club club club and drink drink drink.. wanna end up like daddy ah???' to clubbing when i'm like 40% gian to go and 60% not gian. my frens have very persuasive powers. so i end up going even if i didn't feel like.

'mama.. can i buy this skirt? i think it's quite nice leh...' - to which her reply would be: 'aiyah u always buy buy buy then in the end never wear. ur cupboard got how many tops u haven't wear yet? u go wear them! don't keep buying clothes.' but eventually she will pay for the skirt for me. cos i know deep in her heart, she wants me to wear more girlie stuff , in hopes that i would find a boyfriend soon. heh. she would always say after buying whatever that she bought for me: 'yah lah girl.. should wear more of this kinda clothes. when u're young gotta flaunt all u got. if not old liao then cannot wear.' hee...

suddenly i feel like, it's so much easier to have them make these decisions for me. so i don't have to really ponder over them and it's such a convenient, valid excuse that my frens can't refute. i know i'm like 21. (okie! fine! 22) and i shd make decisions on my own. all them big adult decisions. but sometimes i can't. either cos i'm too indecisive or for the fact that i have become dependent on the decisions they make for me. i always comfort myself with the age old knowledge that 'parents know best' ahahhaha. oh wells.. i need to make a few big adult decisions right now. but i have an assignment dued 5 pm tmr. what the hell am i still blogging?!?! hahaha i shall ponder abt my big adult decisions after i've done my assignment. i promise.